


Sleutho

by Cairnsy



Category: Bleach, Psyren, Toukaidou Hisame
Genre: Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-09
Updated: 2010-11-09
Packaged: 2017-10-13 03:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cairnsy/pseuds/Cairnsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a dark and stormy night ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleutho

**Author's Note:**

> For the Sleutho challenge over on my Livejournal: Input seven fandom characters into the old DOS Sleuth game, play the game through to its conclusion (which generally only takes 3-5 minutes), and then fic the hell out of it. My seven characters came from four different fandoms, making for some _interesting_ combinations.

It's a dark and stormy night; it usually is when these kinds of brutal murders take place. Your cab drops you off outside the mansion, a large brick and mortar monster that shines black in the rain. It's going to be one of those cases, your bones tell you.

When your bones talk, you tend listen.

The dead kid is some wannabe ninja, but of more interest to you is the fact that he's also the heir to the Nara estate and therefore worth more than his weight in shinny dollar bills. You don't know what sort of wild party Nara was throwing at his father's mansion, although reports seem to indicate that the host slept through most of it, before being put to sleep permanently.

You enter the estate, and already the décor sets you on edge. Dozens of expensive paintings line the hallway, which is something you've come to expect from fancy mansions like this. All the paintings you've come across before, however, have featured old, rich people and their fluffy pets. In the Nara hallway, the paintings are all of deer.

It is just a little creepy. It's bad enough when you think the eyes of dead people are following you around, deer have _antlers._ You're sure that if you bend over for just one second -

You take a quick right turn, and end up the conservatory. It's a lush room, and it wants you to know it. There are expensive drapes framing the floor-to-ceiling windows, outside of which a flash of silver lightening poetically chooses that moment to spark across the sky. The flash of light highlights the sleek grand piano in the middle of the room, as well as the attractive young man playing it. He's the type of blond your mother warned you about, all silky hair and damaged eyes. They say a person's eyes are a window to their soul, not with this kid. All you see in those green depths when he glances over at you is shattered glass, the edges of which look sharp enough to cut ice.

He plays a mean piano, though.

You sidle up to the blond and take a seat next to him on the piano bench. Up close, you recognise him from the file your chief gave you, Shion something-or-the-rather. Shion doesn't pause in his melancholic song, but you decide to start asking him some questions anyway.

It's what you do.

You start with where he was on the night of the murder. You never know, if the pretty blond with the shattered eyes has killed the Nara boy, maybe he will admit it you asked nicely enough.

It turns out Shion was in the kitchen with some guy called Haruhiko. All night. You're not exactly sure why two young men would spend the night amongst fresh fruit and vegetables, and you're not entirely sure you want to. You can't help but note that, even though Shion protests his innocence loudly, he also does very little to hide just how much he hated the Nara boy. You don't ask why, because it's like you're a detective or anything.

Oh.

Shit.

Maybe next time.

Upon leaving Shion to his pretty, broken song, you wander across the hall to the library. You've been in plenty a library before – all the rich folk who get murdered around here seem to have them – but you don't think you've ever seen one as large as this. One entire wall is dominated by medical books, and the rest of the room seems to be divided into every genre your English teacher ever tried to drill into you.

In front of a section of shelves dedicated to history, you find another guest lying on a divan. Lanky and long, he somehow projects an image of stealth even while relaxing with a book. You know to be weary of this one, Yakumo has a list of offenses as long as your arm - if your arm was twice as long as it actually is – not that you've ever been able to pin anything on him.

"Hello, detective. We meet again." Yakumo calmly places his book to the side, and you mentally note that it happens to be about Christian mythology. "I gather you are here about the death of that poor child. Terrible tragedy."

You don't buy his droll attempt at compassion, not when he's selling it on the cheap.

"Where were you last night?" You ask pointedly, hoping that the man doesn't have an airtight alibi.

"Why, I was in the living room with Haruhiko all night long. We were catching up on some … reading." Yakumo's salacious smile indicates otherwise, and you only wish you were surprised. Yakumo has always had a thing for attractive blonds.

Still. This Haruhiko kid sure gets around. Right away, you've narrowed your group of suspects down to a small group of three. Haruhiko couldn't have possibly been with both Yakumo and Shion at the same time, that's one of the first things they teach you at the agency. That said, something doesn't sit quite right with this whole set-up. Your files suggest that Yakumo and Shion have a shady past together, but how has Haruhiko been dragged into this twisted game?

You bid farewell to Yakumo, but don't leave the room. For reasons you can't quite explain yourself, you start feeling your way along the far wall, shoving books out of the way and pressing your hands against the wooden panels. You're hoping there is a hidden passage here somewhere, because otherwise you're going to end up looking like a right prat-

Ha, and there it is! One of the panels gives way and you find yourself in a hidden passage. It's dusty and lined with cobwebs, marking it as clearly findable to everyone but the house keeper. The man of the moment is crouched in the corner, examining an elephant dusk with an almost disturbing level of interest.

"Haruhiko, isn't it?" You ask casually, unable to believe your luck. Maybe you should think up some lotto numbers while you're at it. With a start, Haruhiko pops up, his long ponytail swishing over his shoulder. He lacks the controlled perfection of Shion, but there is a youthfulness to him that is attractive enough in its own right. Haruhiko is not a fool, however, and when he steps forward it is with the tusk protectively in hand.

There has just been a murder, after all. You can't blame him for being a little tentative when a stranger suddenly jumps out at him.

"Yeah?" He answers wearily, his gaze shifting between you and the door that leads back to the library. The library, you are quick to note, that Yakumo is still in. The proximity of the two men gives you a moment of pause - had Haruhiko been in the library with Yakumo right before you arrived?

"I'd like to know where you were last night."

"Look, I didn't like Shikamaru. I don't think anyone did. He was kind of obnoxious in a know-it-all way. But I didn't kill him, I was in the library with Yakumo all night."

So Yakumo was in the clear, huh? You can't help but feel just a little bit disappointed. Still, while one alibi checks out, the other one falls flat on its pretty face.

You don't think you've ever solved the murder part of a murder mystery quite so quickly before. Clearly, you are awesome.

With Yakumo and Haruhiko's alibis confirmed (although their motives still wishy-washy grey), you continue down the hidden passageway, wishing the dim light was less dim and more light. Your wish is suddenly granted when the shadows give way and you find yourself mysteriously and inexplicitly on the top floor, in the guest room.

And, look at that! Your trusty magnifying glass just happens to be there on the floor, partly hidden beneath the ruffled valance of the spare bed. You must have left it behind when you were here solving the mysterious death of that Ichigo kid last week. Now that had been a odd case, and one that just happened to have an interesting connection to the suspect you stumble across next.

Shuuhei Hisagi is casually leaning against an oak side table, a glass of (surely expensive) wine in his hand. The shinigami is just as you remember him, lean and tall in a deep black suit that only seems to enhance his rugged scars and strangely offensive tattoo instead of contradicting them.

Shuuhei isn't happy to see you, and you can't say you really blame him. It took you three goes to figure out who killed Ichigo, and in the process you wrongly accused Shuuhei on two of those occasions. He does not appear at all impressed that you of all people have been assigned to this case as well.

Still, can it really be considered a coincidence when a soul reaper turns up right when a soul needs reaping twice in as many weeks? Since you already have your killer it's going to have to be, but you've got your eye on this one.

Regardless, it's worth seeing if Shuuhei has anything new to add.

"I was in the bedroom all night with Renji, not that I believe it is any of your business." There is a quite hostility in Shuuhei's voice, and while you're convinced that he's not Nara's killer, there remains a subtle deadliness about him that suggests that he would not be above killing you if you were to probe much deeper into his evening rendezvous.

You leave quickly with a nervous smile because you're not stupid, but it doesn't stop you from peaking curiously into the master bedroom next. What you find is rather disappointing. The large bed is shrouded prettily in a canopy, and there is a bottle of wine on the dresser, two crystal glasses set on each side. You don't know what you expected two shinigami to be hiding in a room such as this, but a body or two seems appropriate. Instead, there is only a faint hint of incense in the air, a rumpled pile of bedclothes in the corner, and a couple of dress ties looped around the top of the head board.

Tch. Nothing of interest.

Hoping to sneak back through the hidden passage, you return to the guest room. You haven't come to expect much from the guests, but it still gives you a shock when you find Yakumo hiding behind the door. Normal people, you know, don't tend to hide behind doors unless they're feeling guilty about something. It's even more suspicious when you realise that is likely that Yakumo has followed you, especially since only Haruhiko knew where you had gone…

It's a mystery, but not one you're being paid to uncover. You step back out of the room, hoping he'll be gone when you re-enter. And oh, he's gone alright, but the back of the door is now inhabited by Renji, who refuses to meet your gaze.

These people are weird. Full stop. Your opinion doesn't change once you decide to take the long way down to the first floor and find Lan starring at the floor in the kitchen. You step in beside him and look down as well, but while the tiles are interesting in a mosaic sort of way, you can't quite grasp why Lan is studying them so intently.

When you ask, he changes the topic to your victim.

"He was a jerk, ok?" Lan says angrily, although he never stops looking at the damn floor. "I was alone last night so I know I must be your prime suspect, but Yakumo is really the one you should be looking at. If anyone has a reason to hate Shikamaru, it's him."

You're listening, really, right up until the moment you wander over into the pantry and idly pick up a can of vichyssoise. Stunned, you discover it's covered in blood. _This_ is the murder weapon? You know your wife's cooking is pretty deadly, but death by soup can?

You think it's probably a good thing that Nara is dead, because you can't imagine him ever being able to live this down.

Slipping the can into your pocket, you pass back past Lan (who is morosely muttering under his breath something about Yakumo – you're starting to learn how to tune this sort of thing out now). Everything is finally coming together, all you need to do now is find out where the murder took place…

It's your lucky day. The very next room you move into is the dining room, and it's clear even without your magnifying glass that the murder took place here. Blood splatter lines the end wall, and much of the furniture has been over turned. You're not entirely sure why the Nara kid was taking a nap here, nor why none of the other guests thought to point out to you that this is obviously where he took his last breath.

It doesn't matter. You have your murderer, your soup of doom, and a blood soaked room. Now all you need is an audience. A ring of a bell brings then running, although this lot make even that seem like something lazy and deliberate. None of them seem at all concerned about the blood, although you do notice that the guests just happen to settle down on furniture that isn't splattered with brain matter. Yakumo claims the largest couch for himself, and Haruhiko slouches down on the floor in front of him. You note with interest that neither Lan nor Shion seem altogether pleased by this arrangement.

Yes. It is all coming together perfectly.

You move to the center of the room, basking in the fact that all eyes are finally on you. This is your moment, and in this moment you are Poirot. It will be a travesty if you don't ham it up a little.

"As you all know, a heinous crime was committed here last night," you begin, holding your audience captive by lue of a locked door. "I have spent all night searching for clues and talking with each and every one of you. All of you had a reason to want Nara dead, but only one of you had the opportunity." You stalk over to where Yakumo and Haruhiko are sitting, before spinning around and pointing a finger violently out at Lan. "You! You hated Shikamaru because he invited you here without warning you that the love of you life would also be here with his new partner!"

Lan recoils back, his eyes wide behind his glasses. The pair of Shinigami lean forward in curiosity, but Haruhiko is the only other suspect who seems at all startled by your daring insight. Oh, the pretty blond's eyes narrow in disgust and Yakumo smirks just a touch, but in your short time interacting with the pair you know it takes very little to provoke either action.

"Look, I don't know what you're going on about!" Lan argues back, and while his desperation seems genuine enough, he does not realise that he is taking on the master.

"Oh, no no. You cannot hide it from me, sir. There is a, a tension in the air, yes? When you speak of him. Even a fool can see that a deeper emotion lingers between you."

Lan's eyes sweep with horror to over to where Yakumo and Haruhiko sit, and you know that you have hit pay dirt. Once put in a room together, they always give themselves away.

"You sir, are clearly still in love with your old flame, Yakumo!"

"Wait, what?"

You ignore Haruhiko's stunned response, moving in for the kill instead. "Your passion for him, it burns! But it is not love that killed Shikamaru Nara, no! My friend, you certainly had good cause to bash him over the head with a can of soup, but you also possess something else that makes such an act impossible!"

"I do?" Lan asks, looking shaky and confused. Your style of interrogation often has this effect.

"YES! You have a conscious, something our killer clearly lacks!" You spin around dramatically to face Renji and Shuuhei. "And something which the dead have no need for!"

Shuuhei levels you with a dangerously blank stare.

"Even though we are technically dead, we still have all our body parts – both physical and spiritual."

The more you know.

"It hardly matters either way," you hurry to add, trying to get things back on track and in your favor. "I ruled you both out straight away, you entered the game far too late to be suspicious. No. I figured out almost immediately who the real killer was."

"Oh, really?" Yakumo asks dryly. "Do tell."

"It was-"

"Me." Shion interrupts calmly, stealing away your moment of glory and stomping on it with a pair of six inch stilettos, before kneeing it in the balls for good measure. "Obviously. He's mentioned everyone else in the room, I'm the only one left."

"But why with a tin of soup?" Renji asks, heated and confused. "You have a gun, don't you?"

"The how is not important," you snap, rewarding them all with a glare. "What I demand to know is the why. It's the only thing not built into the story set-up, damn it!"

Shion shrugs, brushing his hair dismissively back from his face.

"It's what I do," he finally says as those shattered green eyes idly scan across the other members of the room, burning cold when they briefly fall on Yakumo before flickering on again. "In fact, it's what we all do."

Huh?

The blond sighs, agitatedly swirling his fingers through his hair. "Look, you fool. We all just happen to be involved in the death process, even if some of us are simply around to clean up afterwards."

"Shion, you jerk! Are you saying I'm a glorified housekeeper? I'm going to fucking-"

"Of course, Lan and that thing of his are a rung below the rest of us," Shion continues, ignoring the outburst from the redhead. His hardened gaze comes to rest on Haruhiko. "They're both just cheap, hired thugs."

"Cheap, huh?" Haruhiko asks with a manic gleam that you are sure can't be a good thing. "You know what they say about people in glass houses, you piece of trash-"

It takes the fire fighters half a day to put the blaze out. All that is left of the once deadly mansion is a shell of burnt wooden frames and the occasional bubbling painting of a reindeer. It is a grotesque end to one of the stranger cases you've ever solved, although the case remains officially open with Shion now on the run. For some reason, Yakumo has disappeared as well.

Still. It's a pay check.

*ring ring*

You flip your cell phone open and press it to your ear.

"A new murder case at the mansion up the road?" You ask, already waving down a cab. "You don't say. Yeah. I'm on my way now. But first, tell me everything you've got on our victim, Hibari Kyoya -"


End file.
